By exploring our irritations and admirations for someone we become aware of our primary and disowned selves.
- Who irritates you? This can be a family member, colleague, friend or acquaintance or a well-known person such as a politician, a singer, etc.
- Which specific behaviour mainly irritates you about this person? Try to describe this in one or two words. This is your disowned self; you do not allow yourself this behaviour.
- How should the person who irritates you act? Again try to describe this in one or two words. This is your primary self; you also expect this behaviour from yourself.
Opposite aspects in ourselves are called polarities. So, what is the polarity in you in this exercise?
- Who do you admire? This can be a member of the family, colleague, friend or acquaintance or a well-known person such as, for instance, a politician, a singer, etc.
- Which behaviour do you mainly admire in this person? Try to describe this in one or two words. Do you recognise this behaviour in yourself? I.e. do you also partly show this behaviour? If so, then this is your primary self.
- Do you in fact not recognise this behaviour in yourself? I.e. what are you not capable of which the person you admire does? This is then your disowned self.
- What opposes your primary or disowned self?
What is the polarity in you in this exercise?
If it turns out that both questions bring out the same polarity, then something vital is probably going on in your life in this area. With vital we mean something that is currently on your mind.